I haven't been alive long enough to be giving significant words of wisdom to anyone but I feel that I've lived through a replicant of certain events to be giving my input and views on certain matters. I took a trip down memory lane recently by going to the playground and lake near by to just enjoy the greenery and plants. I've always had an underlying love for plants. Something about them gives me a sense of calm and clarity. They're so precious and it then led me to think how youth is precious thing. It's so tender and raw, and just like movies you see on telly, it has the power to just slip out of your hands unnoticeably, just like butter. Youth is just like plants, if you think about it. It's filled with beauty and wonder, and the strong ones will hold on to their youth for a very long time. They're also play a comparatively important role in people's lives.
There are still so many things in life I want to experience, it's hard to even list them all out. Yes, some of them may be cliché like things that will only occur in Nicholas Sparks books but most of his books are about love and validation, isn't that what most people want in life? I get inspired by books I read and movies I watch. So much that I sometimes crave for those things to happen in my life that I think of ways to mold my life into them. Some I would hope are pure coincidence because it gives that touch of spontaneity and isn't it always a dream to think: "wow, it was just like the movies." Being the little hopeless romantic that I am, I'm still waiting on future adventures I'd embark on like to the city of my dreams, that I've been romanticising since I was a preteen, for a certain amount of time and meet the boy that I'll fall completely in love with without him breaking my heart. I also want to achieve things like painting a massive Muriel or playing in Madison square garden, even if it's for an empty crowd for just ten minutes. I also want to travel back to Amsterdam that once stole my heart and journey to new places like Venice or Rome or New York. (I've never been to New York but I get visions of clarity that I need to be there one day, even if the stories of a big city knocking me over are true). I want to get my degree and still be perusing things I love, making me enjoy waking up everyday. I also want to appreciate my life, the past few years weren't great because I wasted so much time of toxic people who were heavy weights in my life, dragged my down. But thankfully, I learnt from that, and it made me that much stronger. It also made realise that it's vital go focus of yourself. That's the only way you will grow.
I'm excited to grow into the young adult who's learning how to cope with life slowly, but I'm also so certain that I want to hold on to the little girl in me who once dressed as Aurora, danced around to Hannah Montana (I still to that, oops) without a care in the world and had the biggest Hello Kitty collection. I loved that little girl and I want to do her so proud one day.
Some days I'm so invested in living life, I love the feeling of contentment derived from it. Some days however, I just want to lay back, put on a run of How I Met Your Mother with a cup of English breakfast tea in my favourite PJ bottoms and make music or create art. Those days are simple, somewhat unproductive, but absolutely loveable.
No matter how old you get or where you end up, I believe you can always choose to hold on to that spark of youth that once belonged in your heart. The youth that made you feel alive, wild and free again; as if electricity and adrealine were literally rushing through your veins vigorously, giving you a burning sensation. Visit places that made you happy when you felt most youthful, mine would be my garden (and little swing), around my neighbourhood or my bedroom. Perhaps you will regain your youth there or just simply have a smile on your face again and maybe then you will feel like you've gone full circle and finally back home to where you belong again. Youth is really just a feeling, find that feeling and don't feel ashamed of it. I hope you treasure the youth you have or find it deep in you and never let it go. There's no point worrying your life away. Don't ever live in regret and follow your gut, always. You only regret the chances you don't take, right?
With love,
Cheryl
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